It’s True: Creepy Dudes Are Everywhere

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I can’t imagine being a woman, because women always have to deal with creepy dudes. Creepy dudes are everywhere! Let’s rewind.

On Tuesday, I was out for my run. I was running a nice steady pace. I approached a guy from behind and passed him. Apparently, this caused the little fella to see red, because he chased after me like a crazed spider monkey that just put away a couple of Four Lokos. The guy actually cut in front of me… and then slowed down. Oh, dear.

So I passed him again – keep in mind that my pace never changed this entire time. The guy takes off again. At this point, I’m pretty sure his heart rate is approaching 200. He looked like Kanye West every time Beyonce doesn’t get an award. He looked like Ted Cruz when he meets someone on food stamps. He looked like Christian after Anastasia suggested they try the missionary position. This guy was pissed!

Anyhow, I slowed down. No need to poke the [crazy] bear. I went on with my run and I got off that road as soon as I could. Don’t worry – the fun isn’t over yet!

A couple of miles later, King Creepy showed up again. Keeping to his creepy ways, he sped by me… and then slowed down again. He even gave me a look over his shoulder. It was clear that he didn’t want to strike up a conversation (about all the little animals he has killed and kept in his freezer) – he wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to pass him.

At this point, I turned around. I read the news – I know how this story ends if I pass him back.

A woman would never be this creepy on a run. I sincerely hope that most guys wouldn’t be this creepy on a run. I can’t believe women have to put up with this stuff every day – I don’t know how you do it. Seriously, how do you do it?!

Don’t believe me? It’s true. Creepy dudes are everywhere:

As always, I will shamelessly promote pepper spray.

Keep running!

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13 Responses to It’s True: Creepy Dudes Are Everywhere

  1. laufvergnügen says:

    You should watch Aziz Ansari’s new standup special on Netflix, the one that was taped at Madison Square Garden. He recounts numerous scenarios women have to deal with from crazy guys and how men will never get the same. My husband was like, these things have happened to you?! And I was like, oh yea.

  2. veryrach says:

    Your analogies had me cracking up!! What strange behavior though! It is very scary being a woman on a run alone. I’m only 5’1″ and I’m pretty much terrified of any man I see on a trail. I can’t wait to get a dog!! lol

  3. Jessica @ VEGGIE RUNNING MOMMA says:

    hahaha. The creep is real.! guys are creepy. and I am the worst about runners being in front of me.. I will do whatever to pass them in the dust. Not slow down though, I just hate when other runners are in front of me. lol
    Sounds like you were the mature one in that situation.

  4. This is exactly why I am petrified to run alone at night. When I have to I always have pepper spray and never ever ever run to far away from my house. I would rather do the same loop over and over again than be attacked

  5. lljkline says:

    Creepers who don’t like girls passing them – even worse!

  6. BabetaRuns says:

    Haha! You made me laugh!
    True some blocks are properly creepy!! 🙂

  7. BabetaRuns says:

    Blocks? Blokes I meant 🙂

  8. So funny that you posted this, because Will JUST bought me the Sabre pepper spray for my away rotations. I’m more afraid that I’ll hit myself with it but I guess it’s worth avoiding the creepy dudes!

  9. Alanna says:

    I love the analogies! That’s why I don’t run alone in the dark. Too many creepers out there!

  10. I always carry my pepper spray! As much as I did laugh out loud reading this, you hit many good points. And props for recognizing the situation and changing your route. I read a post last year by a girl and she didn’t change a single thing about her run when someone was following her and I remember it made so cranky. Don’t risk it because you think you can handle it.

  11. Haha I laughed so much reading this! Soo true! I had a similar situation with a guy when I first moved to Australia, but then he proceeded to run next to me and ask me out! If my life was a Nicholas Sparks movie it would have been romantic but in real life it was really creepy and ended with me letting him know I have a boyfriend and him admitting he never runs and collapsing with a mean stitch. Fail. Haha 🙂

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